


Technical Difficulties

by semperama



Category: Star Trek RPF
Genre: Anxiety, Embarrassment, Erectile Dysfunction, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-17
Updated: 2014-10-17
Packaged: 2018-02-21 13:43:21
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,267
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2470346
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/semperama/pseuds/semperama
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Written for <a href="http://pintokinkmeme.livejournal.com/1138.html?thread=338034#t338034">this</a> kink meme prompt.</p>
<p>Chris can't get it up, but Zach refuses to let that ruin the fun.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Technical Difficulties

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Medeafic](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Medeafic/gifts).



The thing is, Chris doesn’t deal with anxiety very well. He has a habit of getting locked up in his own head, worrying about something, and then worrying that he’s worrying too much about that thing, and then worrying that he never will be able to _stop_ worrying about that thing, and it’s nearly impossible to pull himself out of that downward spiral. People tell him that he’s cerebral and analytical and introspective like it’s a compliment, but he doubts they would like it much if they were inside his head all the time.

He doubts they would like it if they were laying in bed with Zachary Quinto’s mouth on their dick and they were so full of distress that they just could not. get. _it up_.

“I swear this has never happened before,” Chris groans, throwing an arm across his face as if he can hide from the humiliation. His skin feels hot with shame.

Zach lets Chris’s cock slide out of his mouth, and it falls limp against his thigh, not even the slightest bit harder than before Zach started his expert but futile attempts to coax it into joining the party.

“You’re thinking too much,” Zach says. He is trying to be encouraging, but his voice sounds just the slightest bit strained. Chris is pretty sure he must be disappointed. Who wouldn’t be? 

“Yeah, well, if I could quit, I would,” Chris says. He feels his cheeks get even redder, and he tucks his nose into his elbow and squeezes his eyes shut, wishing he could just disappear.

It’s not that he doesn’t want Zach. He _does_ , so badly, and it’s killing him that Zach might think that isn’t true. It took Chris a little too long to realize that he actually had feelings for Zach, because Zach is the first guy he has _ever_ had feelings for, but by now he doesn’t at all doubt that those feelings are real. Zach is in his thoughts all the time. He loves kissing him, he loves touching him. He loves the thick patch of hair on Zach’s chest and the way his stubble rasps against his skin and the way his hands feel large and strong when they touch his body or wrap around his wrists. Zach could never be mistaken for a woman, and Chris doesn’t _want_ him to be a woman. 

But this is his first time being with a man, and it’s not fun to feel like a fumbling virgin all over again. Except it’s worse, because at least when he slept with a girl for the first time, she had been just as inexperienced as he was, so there was significantly less pressure. Chris _hates_ feeling like he doesn’t know what he is doing, and he hates it even more that he is stupidly afraid that Zach might judge him. Even though he knows Zach would never do that, he can’t seem to stop thinking it.

Zach sighs, and Chris can feel him pushing up onto his hands and knees and crawling up the bed. A moment later, fingers wrap around his wrist and pull his arm away from his face. 

“Baby.” The way Zach’s voice pitches low on the word makes Chris almost forget his embarrassment for a moment. His gaze lingers on the perfect pink pout of Zach’s mouth, then sweep upward to the strands of hair that have fallen into his face, and then, finally, he dares to meet Zach’s eyes. They are as dark and warm as ever, and Chris definitely sees affection in them, but he sees a little uncertainty too, and that makes his heart clench.

“Baby,” Zach repeats. “Are you sure you want this?”

Chris pushes himself up on his elbows and then lifts a hand to Zach’s shoulder, gripping tight. “ _Yes_ , Zach. Yes.”

Zach tilts his head a little, considering, then lowers his eyes. “It’s okay if you don’t. It’s okay if it’s not what you…”

“It’s not that!” Chris shakes his head “I’m just...nervous, okay? That’s all. It’s just nerves.”

Zach brushes the hair off Chris’s forehead and skims his fingers down the side of his face. The gesture is unabashedly tender, and Chris lets out a contented little hum. Except...maybe this is contributing to his nervousness too, the fact that he really cares about Zach in a way that he hasn’t cared about anyone before. It’s not that he didn’t have feelings for the women he dated before, but somehow this feels bigger, more dangerous, more serious. Zach is like some rare and precious thing that Chris is terrified to lose but doesn’t know if he’s good enough to keep.

“Here, let me.” Chris props himself a little more and pushes at Zach’s shoulder, trying to get him to flop over on his back. Maybe his own cock is out of commission, but that doesn’t mean he can’t make Zach feel good. Plus, he really wants to get out of his own head right now, and no better way to do that than focusing on giving a good blowjob.

But Zach, surprisingly, doesn’t budge. He shakes his head. “Nuh-uh.”

“B-but…”

“Nope.” Zach slides his hand down Chris’s chest, traces a finger around his belly button, and then pets at the crease of his thigh, gentle touches that are somehow comfort Chris and make him uneasy at the same time. “We’re focusing on you right now.”

“But, uh,” Chris stammers. “I don’t think I’m going to be able to--”

“Did you know,” Zach cuts him off, “that it’s possible for a man to orgasm without getting an erection?”

Chris lets out a little nervous, disbelieving laugh, thinking surely Zach is joking, but it is quickly gets cut off when he wraps a hand around him again. His cock is tacky with Zach’s partially dried saliva, so Zach’s hand can’t really move, but he strokes his thumb back and forth over the velvety head, making Chris shiver a little.

“I don’t know, man,” he says skeptically. Sure, having someone else’s hand on his dick still feels good, but in a futile kind of way, like even the nerve endings themselves know this isn’t really going to go anywhere. 

Zach just lifts an eyebrow in the universal signal for _challenge accepted_. “Do you trust me?” he asks.

“Of course I do,” Chris answers without having to think about it. He trusts Zach with everything.

“Do you still want me?”

“More than anything.”

Zach smiles, then leans in and kisses Chris’s temple. “Then quit worrying, and let’s just enjoy each other.”

Chris blows out a soft breath and then nods once, turning his head a little to catch Zach’s lips before he pulls away. He can do this. He can enjoy Zach. He doesn’t need to be able to pound nails with his dick to have a good time in bed with his boyfriend, right?

Zach grins softly at him for a moment, but his expression turns darker as his eyes travel down the length of his body. He flops Chris’s cock up against his stomach and slides his palm up the pliable length of it before thumbing at his slit, seeking out the tiny dribble of precome he finds there. Then, he lifts his thumb to his mouth and sucks it clean. If Chris was red before, his face is flaming now, and he can feel the heat spreading down his chest. He might as well be broadcasting his humiliation in neon letters written across his forehead.

“Hmm,” Zach says thoughtfully. He kisses the edge of Chris’s jaw, then moves farther down and sucks one of his nipples into his mouth. Chris gasps as he flicks his tongue over it until it pebbles, then worries it gently with his teeth until it is hard and throbbing, sending little sparks of pleasure radiating all the way down to Chris’s toes. “Well,” Zach says when he pulls away, his tone smug. “I guess some parts of you can get hard.”

Chris feels another spike of embarrassment, and he turns his face away, but Zach reaches out and gently turns it back.

“Hey. Don’t do that,” he says. “I want you here with me, not lost inside your head, worrying too much.” He touches his fingers to Chris’s reddened cheek. “You have nothing to be embarrassed about.”

Chris forces himself to nod, holding Zach’s gaze and drawing comfort from it. “Okay.”

“Good boy,” Zach says, one corner of his mouth twitching upward. He slides one palm down Chris’s chest, then finds his dick again, stroking his fingers across it so lightly that it almost tickles, making Chris squirm. He doesn’t stop though, just keeps up the feather-light touches until Chris’s thighs are trembling and he is nearly arching off the bed in search of more. Zach’s eyes shift from his dick back up to his face, his expression suddenly serious. “Can I...do you still want me to fuck you?”

Honestly, Chris isn’t sure. That was the original plan, but it’s also the reason why he can’t get it up, and he is afraid going for it anyway will just be uncomfortable for all involved. Zach must see the uncertainty in his expression, because his hand stops moving and his face goes all pinched and worried. “We don’t have to. It’s okay.”

“No,” Chris says automatically. He pauses for a moment, then sighs. “No, I...I still want you to. I do. I’m just...I’m...” He trails off with a shrug.

Zach just looks at him for a moment, like he is trying to figure out the right thing to say. He moves his hand to Chris’s hip, his thumb stroking his skin soothingly. “I want to make you feel good, Chris. I want to show you how good it can be.”

God, Chris wants him to. He really, really does. He wants to be that close, that connected, to give Zach this part of him that no one else has had. But still, his gut is full of butterflies, and he is afraid this blushing might be permanent, and he just doesn’t want it to be disappointing. “What if I still can’t get hard?”

Several emotions flicker across Zach’s face in the span of a second, and he looks down at Chris’s limp dick again. He sucks his lower lip in between his teeth, considering, then he scoots down the bed again, pushes his face into the crease of Chris’s thigh, then shifts over a little and licks Chris slowly from balls to crown, wringing a moan out of his mouth.

“I...think I’m kind of in to it,” Zach says into the skin of Chris’s lower stomach, then looks up at him almost shyly. And...that’s weird. Chris doesn’t think he has _ever_ seen Zach look shy about anything. He watches in disbelief as Zach presses a few tender kisses around the tip of his cock, then sucks it into his mouth for just a moment before releasing it. “I don’t know. The, umm, anxious, embarrassed thing is kind of doing it for me. And seeing you so vulnerable…”

“Za-ach,” Chris whines, swatting ineffectually at his shoulder. Zach huffs out a laugh, then gives Chris another cheeky little lick.

“Your cock’s fucking gorgeous whether it’s hard or soft. I still want you. I still want to fuck you. I want to see if I can make you come while it’s just like this.” This time it’s his finger the travels up Chris’s length, then gives it a little nudge so it slumps back over onto his thigh.

“Fu--...yeah. Okay. Yeah. Yes.”

Chris grabs Zach’s shoulder and hauls him back up for a filthy kiss that almost takes his mind off his malfunctioning dick for a second. Knowing Zach wants him that badly, even in his current state, maybe _especially_ in his current state, is doing a little to help with the nerves. But only a little. And they come back in full force when he realizes Zach has shifted a little and is reaching into the bedside table with one hand.

Zach notices when Chris tenses, and he bites gently at Chris’s bottom lip before pulling away. “Relax, baby. I’m going to take care of you.”

Chris knows he will, so he forces himself to take a deep breath and blow it out slowly, like he does before an interview or a public appearance. Still, it’s hard to remember to relax when that first slick finger starts circling his hole, warning him about the upcoming intrusion.

It’s a shock, and it’s weird, but it isn’t nearly as bad as Chris thought it would be. Granted, it’s just one finger, not Zach’s sizable cock yet, but still. Chris shifts his hips experimentally as Zach slides steadily into him up to his last knuckle, and he finds that he feels almost smug when Zach makes a small sound of pleased disbelief, like he can’t believe this is really happening. Chris doesn’t blame him. He can hardly believe it either.

“You’ve been holding out on me, Pine,” Zach rasps, his voice tender and accusatory at once. He pulls his finger out, then corkscrews it back in, and this time it’s Chris who makes the incredulous sound. “You’re greedy for it. You think you can take another finger already? I’ll bet you can.”

Chris thinks he can too. He thinks he can do anything Zach says he can do.

Maybe he says that out loud, because this time when Zach pulls out, a second finger slides up next to the first, and then they are both sinking in to him together. It burns this time, just a little, and Chris squeezes his eyes shut and clenches his jaw, even as his dick twitches. It burns, but it feels--

A resounding smack on the outside of his thigh makes Chris’s eyes shoot open, his jaw dropping in indignation. “What the fu--”

“Don’t get hard.”

“ _What?_ ” Chris says.

“Don’t. Get. Hard.” Zach drives his fingers into him roughly, ratcheting up the intensity of the burn and pretty much ensuring that whatever stiffness might have been plaguing his poor dick is completely gone now. “I told you I wanted to make you come like this, and I meant it.”

“Zach, I don’t--”

This time, when Zach cuts him off, it’s by crooking his fingers just right, petting over that spot inside Chris that makes him gasp and grind down onto his knuckles like he’s trying to get him deeper. “Oh, _fuck_.”

“Good?” Zach asks, like it isn’t obvious. He scissors his fingers a little on the way out, dulling the edge of the pleasure just for a moment before he pushes in again and hits that same spot. This time Chris’s hips come off the bed.

“Oh, Jesus, you can’t…” Chris thinks he can almost _feel_ the blood rushing to his dick. How is he supposed to stay soft now, when Zach is playing him like a fiddle? It’s impossible. He can’t. “You can’t keep doing that and expect me to--”

“If you get hard, I’m stopping.”

Chris searches Zach’s face, looking for signs that he’s joking, but he looks completely serious. Fuck. _Fuck._

“Now,” Chris begs. “Fuck me now. Please. _Please_.” His only hope is to get this show on the road before his dick catches up to them.

For one heart-stopping moment, he thinks Zach is going to tell him no, but his self-control must be frayed today, because after just a second’s hesitation, he withdraws his hand. Chris stares at the ceiling and recites Sylvia Plath poetry in his head to keep his mind off his rebellious cock, resolutely ignoring the crinkle of foil and the sounds of Zach’s ragged breathing.

He can’t ignore the blunt press of something far too big against his hole though. “Ah, shit. Zach.”

“Shh, baby,” Zach murmurs, then starts to slide in, breaching him slowly but relentlessly. 

“Don’t stop,” Chris gasps. Truth be told, it fucking hurts, but if Zach stops, he’ll get used to it, and he gets used to it, he’ll get hard, and if he gets hard, Zach will be disappointed. He doesn’t want Zach to be disappointed. Oh fuck, when did this all get so turned around?

Thankfully, Zach listens, pushing into Chris’s body a little too hard and a little too fast, keeping him right on the edge of pleasure-pain. When he is all the way in, hips pressed to the back of Chris’s thighs, he leans in to kiss him, forcing his knees back toward his ears while he coaxes his tongue into his mouth. Thank God for yoga.

It only takes a small handful of thrusts for Chris to realize why this position is a good idea. The burn is still too intense for him to even think about getting it up again right now, but at this angle Zach’s dick drags against his prostate every time his fucks into Chris, and the sensation it creates is intense. Even as he tries to adjust to the intrusion, he can feel warmth pooling in his gut, pleasure fizzing like champagne bubbles through his veins. His cock is...it’s fucking _confused_ is what it is. His balls feel heavy and he could swear the head of his dick is throbbing, but when Zach reaches down and wraps his fingers around it, it is still soft, flopping uselessly through his fingers even as sparks of bliss radiate through his groin, through the place where their bodies are joined.

“Oh my God, you’re going to fucking do it, aren’t you?” Zach sounds so proud and awestruck that it makes Chris’s heart clench. He watches the rapture on Zach’s face for a moment, then pulls him in for another kiss, tasting the sweat on his top lip.

“Harder,” Chris says when they break apart. “I could almost...I just need….”

Zach hooks his hands under Chris’s knees and fold them back a little farther, then straightens up a little so he has the leverage to really give it to him, hitting that spot with such pinpoint accuracy each time that Chris has to bite down on his lip to keep from crying out. It’s like being taken apart from the inside out, like Zach has found a loose thread and is unraveling whatever it is that holds Chris together. It’s fucking terrifying, but it’s also exquisite, and Chris realizes-- _ohmyfuckinggod_ \--this is actually going to work. He is actually going to come, just like this.

He is still totally soft, just like Zach asked to him to be, when the first spurt of come dribbles out onto his thigh. It’s unbelievable how good it feels, and the look on Zach’s face is even more unbelievable. Zach’s eyes are locked on his dick, and he looks thunderstruck, completely and totally amazed by what he is seeing. Chris groans his way through his orgasm, clenching around Zach’s cock and digging his fingers into his shoulders, but he never once looks away from Zach’s face.

It only takes a few more erratic thrusts, and then Zach is cursing under his breath and shooting into Chris’s body, Chris’s name on his lips.

Chris kind of blanks out for a while after that, so exhausted and content that he only barely notices when Zach pulls out and cleans them both up. It isn’t until Zach’s fingers start petting his face that he comes back to himself, flashing a grin.

“So,” Zach says, his smile mirroring Chris’s. “I told you it was possible.”

“Yeah,” Chris concedes. “And I’m perfectly happy to be wrong.”


End file.
